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Goateed indeed
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![[*]](./images/scoobtastic/default_icon.gif) posted on 2-10-2006 at 19:27 |
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Crap joke of the day....
Two dyslexic's in a car.
One say's to the other, " Can u smell petrol?"
"Don't be a dick, I can't even smell my own name"...
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Clocked 0Ne
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 19:40 |
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That's shockingly bad
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big_t
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 21:27 |
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hahaha  harsh
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Gangsterbabe
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 21:35 |
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Am I the only girl who likes a joke like this???
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aitch
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 21:39 |
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Heard this one today...
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet.
There's a hush, and then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
Holding the audience in silence, he says in to the mic... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from near the front of the crowd yells... "Well, stop fucking clapping then!"
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Clocked 0Ne
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 21:44 |
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lol good one Aitch
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aitch
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 21:45 |
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Many thanks... although I cannot take the credit for it's originality!
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Gangsterbabe
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 21:45 |
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LOL for sure here!!
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big_t
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| posted on 2-10-2006 at 22:30 |
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hahahahaha!! Quality!
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Goateed indeed
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 12:02 |
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Two women are walking home after a girlie night out. They are very drunk and the walk home is taking some time due to their intoxicated state.
Eventually, they find themselves desperate for a wee. At that particular moment, they are passing a church and decide to go behind the headstones in
the graveyard.
As they finish they both realize they have nothing to 'freshen-up' with so the first woman decides to use her knickers and then throw them away.
The second woman is wearing very expensive underwear and is reluctant to lose them, when she notices a new grave nearby with lots of freshflowers,
amongst which is a very lavish bouquet with a thick soft ribbon.
Just the job' she decides and without another thought, duly drags the bouquet over and uses the ribbon to dry herself. Their taskcompleted, the women
continue staggering home.
The next morning, the husband of the first woman phones the husband of the second."We need to keep an eye on our wives. Mine came home with no
knickers on last night."
"You think you've got problems" exclaims the second husband "My wife came home last night with a card stuck up her bottom that said, "We'll
Never Forget You - From All the Lads at the Fire Station"
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big_t
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 12:33 |
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!!
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aitch
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 15:12 |
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One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a
crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla,
has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will drop with no gorilla.
He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
The next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he
wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored
just swinging on tires.
He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience,
he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but
the crowd loves it.
At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this goes on for some time,
the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up.
Then one day when he is dangling over the lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is
so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.
Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back
looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
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Coffeebug
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 17:58 |
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Mwahahahaha nice
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lexy
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 18:19 |
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Maybe we should direct Huey to this joke thread in order to get some material for the next tour? Or then again, maybe not! Mind you, some of them
are quite close to his usual (fairly low) standard!!!
*ducks to avoid flying furniture*
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Clocked 0Ne
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 18:24 |
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Not a joke per se, but I found this decidedly hilarious:
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lexy
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 18:26 |
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Coffeebug
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 18:27 |
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LMAO
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big_t
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 18:38 |
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haha
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Scooby_Doo
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 20:35 |
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Google in 10 years?
AH'M GONNAE EAT YE!! GET IN MA BELL-AY!!! I'M BIGGER THAN YOU - I'M HIGHER IN THE FOOD CHAIN!!! |
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lexy
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| posted on 3-10-2006 at 20:36 |
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Goateed indeed
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| posted on 4-10-2006 at 16:39 |
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** SAD NEWS **
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went
unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Cokey" died peacefully at the age of 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in - and then the trouble started...
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lexy
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| posted on 4-10-2006 at 16:45 |
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Oh lord...you have a stockpile of these somewhere, don't you? Please don't start telling any to Huey or he'll be writing the buggers down and
we'll hear them recycled in New Yorkese on the next tour. I don't think I can bear it!
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Goateed indeed
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| posted on 4-10-2006 at 16:49 |
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I was thinking of offering my (much needed) joke skills to be available on the next FLC tour??
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lexy
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| posted on 4-10-2006 at 16:51 |
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Well, I suppose they are marginally better than some of the ones I have heard a certain Mr. Morgan tell...but really, it's a close thing!
Almost as bad as the
"Two dislexics walk into a bra..."
I was told that by one of my dearest friends, who is in fact dislexic, so I feel perfectly justified in putting that one into print!
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Goateed indeed
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| posted on 4-10-2006 at 16:57 |
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Is that like the dislexic agnostic who didn't believe in dog?
Or the man who walked into a bar and went "ouch" (think about it)
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